Maybe you’ve been the new student. Or perhaps your kiddo is involved with a new (hopefully more positive, functional) social circle. Maybe your little guy is the most introverted cutie at school. Whatever way you slice it, not feeling included or part of the action is soul-sucking. Making friends is hard. (Harder as you get older, in my opinion.) Inclusiveness is oh-so important. To genuinely involve someone is a sign of true character.
What I’m trying to teach my kiddos is that they can have a wide array of interests, they should include everyone, friendship circles can (and should) grow bigger and more dynamic and to walk in other people’s shoes to understand what they are feeling. A tall order, sure. But they call it the golden rule for a reason, mmmmmkay?!
Here are some books that resonated with me about difficulties making friends and one option to help (the buddy bench).
Littles
Jenn Bailey’s A Friend for Henry perfectly describes what it feels like to be unsure while making a buddy. Henry likes things a certain way. He doesn’t understand why his nice gesture isn’t appreciated. Sweet boy tries to navigate his way through social life and emotions in this darling book. Such a good jumping-off conversation book for my kiddos about our friends’ needs and wants.
Scaredy Squirrel Makes a Friend by Melanie Watt is glorious. Find me someone who doesn’t like this little brown fur ball. I dare you. It’s not possible. Scaredy Squirrel is perfectly fine doing life solo. He has very specific requirements of his friends. Gahhhhhh, I love this little guy. And isn’t that just our lives right now? Make a plan, plan changes, go with it, find new normal, repeat.
Be a Friend by Salina Yoon is an absolutely perfect tale of someone reaching out to a kiddo who might not fit into the mold at school. How brave of her to befriend this sweet little guy and how brave of him to open his heart to friendship. Side note, mimes kinda freak me out so I miiiiiight have judged a book by its cover. Full admission. I’m working on not doing that with books. Alas, this is a great read and it was a great discussion-starter for my crew. Not every kiddo likes to to play with the same things. No judgement needed.
The Buddy Bench by Patty Brozo is so deliciously illustrated and has such a beautiful message. Kiddos aren’t involving themselves (note: they aren’t being excluded by others) because they feel like they’re not good at certain activities, or they have holes in their shoes and so on. All real life situations that can make a kiddo apprehensive to put himself out there socially. So much diversity and inclusiveness in this book – total gold!
Emerging Readers and Middle Grade
Warren & Dragon 100 Friends by Ariel Bernstein has been on my to-read list for aaaaaaaages! Warren speaks to my shy, afraid-to-speak-up self from elementary school, so I adored this little character! Warren has a pet dragon (ie stuffed dragon) who runs commentary like my bad inner self, so I adored that little character, too! Warren and his twin sister Ellie are entering 2nd grade. They just moved to a new town and don’t know anyone – yet. Because Ellie is so gosh-darn-good at errrrrrything, Warren sets up a bet to see who can make 100 friends first. He’s determined to beat out his sister for once! Making friends is harder than it seems, especially if you have Dragon as your wingman. (Wing reptile?)
One super funny, real-life excerpt from the book that had me and My Guy nodding along:
Dad works as a graphic designer from our home in his office room. That means he’s able to take us to school and pick us up, but after school Ellie and I are supposed to pretend to get along so he can get work done. We usually forget to pretend.
Warren & Dragon 100 Friends, Ariel Bernstein, 36
The Big Idea Gang Everybody Needs a Buddy by James Preller was such a hidden treasure. I’ve never heard of this series, and I’m so glad I stumbled upon this book! Deon, Kym and twins Connor and Lizzy are fifth graders at Clay Elementary. They meet once a week to think of (you guessed it) big ideas to help out the school community. Deon notices a new student with nothing to do at recess. He takes it upon himself to befriend shy Dinesh. The crew drums up the idea to put a buddy bench on the school property for kids who need a buddy and/or feel left out.
I love these kind-hearted kids. I wish there were more students like this. The ripple effect would be monumental.
And because they love Doritos. 👌
Human beings need food, air, water, shelter, and Doritos to survive. Everybody knows that.
The Big Idea Gang Everybody Needs a Buddy, James Preller, 37
What tween/YA/adult books have you found utterly fabulous about making friends? Message me!