If you have ever contemplated adoption, read In On It by Elizabeth O’Toole. Like, Prime it today. The author writes in such a beautiful, honest, empowering manner.
If someone in your circle has adopted or is contemplating adoption, read this book.
We adopted in 2019 (all the praise hands). Part of our home study included adoption book reports. I love nothing more than a project that includes highlighters and sticky notes and a deadline. Proud nerd here. Alas, I came across this book well after I finished my required book reports and bought it for my husband. Full admission because it was a bit on the shorter side than some of the bookends I read. I was surprised by how many adoption books I read or were suggested to me that were just. so. discouraging. Like, if a reader was maybe, possibly, one day considering adoption, after reading these books they would run the other way. I understand there is a lot of heartache in adoption. We’ve lived it. But I believe there is so much goodness even in the storm and this author captures it so perfectly.
This book is intended for the circle of special people around the couple intending to adopt or who have adopted. Brilliant! So many of the concerns addressed in this book were the same concerns brought up to me by our circle. O’Toole addresses these sensitive topics so thoughtfully. I wish I had read this during our home study process to have the right language when I was asked about these topics during our ‘waiting’ period.
In fact, as an adoptive mama, I learned some key phrases to use with our other children as we continue to talk about race. And O’Toole’s words helped me process some of my feelings of protectiveness over where our daughter was born and where our daughter’s birth mom lives.
Something that really stuck with me was the author’s message about loss. The individuals seeking information or actively on the path to adoption might have (not always) felt loss in their life. Loss of child. Loss of fertility. Loss of privacy. The loss the birth mother faces. Amen! She sums up so many feelings that ride as a passenger on the adoption journey – something that on the outside seems like it would be an exciting adventures of rainbows and lollipops.
I flew through this book and I’m so glad I read it! Message me if you have questions about adoption or other adoptions book reccos!