One Calm Christmas, Coming Up

If you know me at all, I am all about a list and being prepared. I’d like to say that’s something I’ve adopted as a mama to four, but really, I’m a Type A through and through. Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton caught my eye for obvious reasons. The simplicity of the cover sure caught my eye, too. Holidays involve a LOT of prep and flexibility with or without a pandemic. Because, holidays. I sought out this book because I want this holiday season to feel joyous and intentional even though it might look different than previous years. But with that desire can come a lot of unnecessary pressure (my doing). One calm Christmas, coming up.

If you strip this book down to the bare bones, soak this goodness up: you can honor this special season without sacrificing your well-being. Mic drop.

Holidays

Beth asks us to find what is truly important out of the holiday season and put our attention there. Let go of perfect (amen!). And accept the notion that there is no ‘right’ way to do the holiday season. Let go of everything else that doesn’t fall on your ‘truly important’ list. Including gifting to peeps you don’t really feel excited about exchanging with, holiday gatherings, sending holiday cards, etc.

Doesn’t that just FEEL like a breath of fresh air?! I feel like this mentality applies to all holidays and gatherings, not just the Black Friday – January 1 season. Joyous and intentional!

Here are her five guideposts of the holiday season (whatever holiday that is for you).

1. Faith (no explanation needed here)
2. Magic – Santa, baby! 🎅🏽
3. Connection – the tree, the feast, the gathering
4. Abundance – shopping, gifting, writing a letter to Santa, the TV ads, etc.
5. Heritage – traditions you repeat, the rinse-repeat, so to speak

Of those five, there are likely one or two or three that stand out for you as really important or fun or what you might say is ‘what the season is all about.’ They can’t ALL be important. That’s how you got yourself into this hurried-ass, cranky-pants, we’re-making-memories-God-damn-it mess.

Don’t pick these based on your kiddos or your spouse/SO/parents/whoever. What of those five dazzlers makes you light up like a tree?

Now have the other peeps in your orbit make their assessments. Beth shares, “By understanding what matters most to ourselves and those close to us, we can organize our gatherings, prepare our hearts, and strengthen our resolve to give and take just enough to ensure a calm, joyful Christmas.’

My biggie of that list is faith, followed by magic, followed by connection. My Guy’s top is magic followed by connection. His least important is abundance. Therefore, by comparing what is important (or not) we can not only not drive each other crazy pushing our priorities to the other person but we can also identify the guideposts that aren’t important to us at all and just skip it. And let the guilt go, ladies. Outta here.

If the faith aspect is super high to me, but not to my husband, I can go alone to the holiday sing at our church or he might join me because he knows it’s important to me. Not because we ‘have to go.’ Joyous and intention, not obligation or because you’ve done it for years and years. Make sense?

Other interesting take-aways:

• Budgeting – amen! Beth shares some interesting stats about holiday spending, so it’s no wonder people feel stressed about the holidays! By preparing a budget and allocating money ahead of time, the stress decreases considerably!
• Nourishing your mind – nature, food intake, movement, routines. No wonder we’re pooped by the end of December if our switch has been ‘on’ all month, right?
• Gifting something for yourself (!)
• Gatherings

If you could do only one thing for each gathering, what would it be? Focus on that, do it brilliantly, and be relaxed about the rest.

Beth Kempton

• Grief, including involuntary childlessness – I adore that she addresses this. Maybe that family member has been gone a long time, but the pain might be sharper around the holidays. Perhaps the mama who miscarried is feeling especially upset at family gatherings on ‘what should have been.’ The family members who couldn’t be there for various reasons (pandemic, military, etc.) feel especially missed when everyone else is together. What a sensitive and thoughtful soul to raise this topic. Love!

Planning for the New Year

Beth calls this the ‘hush’ and I adore that. The presents are opened. The Hallmark movies have died down. Family have returned to their own homes. It can feel melancholy because (again) we’ve been ‘on’ for so long. What better time to stay away from social media and reflect?

Insert tire screeching noise.

I can plan like it’s a paying job but ask me to contemplate what worked, what didn’t, what felt stressful, etc. and I’ll run like it’s a game of Hot Potato. Beth urges us to take these little mental field trips for the holidays and the past year. She suggests looking for times of stress or joy, what or who challenged you, what felt like money well-spent, what didn’t work as well as expected.

These brain homework sessions will help us all plan better for the upcoming year. Again, the idea isn’t perfection. It’s progress. It’s doing stuff (holidays, goals, etc.) with intention so you’re not an eight-headed monster with zero energy.

Pick this darling gem up and spend a few hours making some notes about what you want out of the holidays rather than the holidays telling you what it should look like. Wishing you a joyous and intentional holiday season!

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Visit: DoWhatYouLoveforLife.com and BethKempton.com