If adoption is a soft spot for you or not, Before and After by Judy Christie and Lisa Wingate is an incredible non-fiction story I wildly urge you to read. Like, wildly!
If you’re not familiar with the Tennessee Children’s Home Society, take a quick spin to read up on it. Shocking, yes, but I’m also not too surprised. Adoption laws are relatively new in this country. Put in place to safeguard who is ultimately most at risk – the child being placed for adoption.
What reads like a Hollywood plotline is actually the true story of the intersection of politics, mothers with few options and a desire for ‘more’ for their babies and pure greed by a woman named Georgia Tann.
Start Me Off
Before and After is the real-life tale of Tennessee Children’s Home Society survivors (children placed into families by adoption) who came forth after the release of Lisa Wingate’s historical fiction novel, Before We Were Yours.
What started as one survivor’s request to tell her story at her friend’s book club after their group reading of Before We Were Yours, quickly evolved into other survivors coming forward to share their experience at the Tennessee Children’s Home Society.
A Quick Background
Openness about adoption is a relatively new concept. Many families ‘back in the day’ simply avoided the topic. You might say brushed it under the rug, others might say lied about it. However you interpret it, today’s openness is a welcome change to the secrecy from decades ago.
Homes for unwed mothers are no longer. Women choose to parent their babies without a nuclear family. You get the picture. This simply wasn’t the case years ago. I have so many thoughts on this, but I’m trying to keep to the book…
A Reunion!
The suggestion to create a reunion weekend in Memphis (home to the Tennessee Children’s Home Society Memphis intake house) organically grew from survivors. Author Lisa Wingate asked friend Judy Christie to join her in the efforts to scribe the stories behind each of these survivors.
Over the course of mere months, countless survivors raised their hands to be involved in the reunion and/or share their story.
What we learn is heartache. Children who were born to Jewish mothers, but ‘sold’ to families as Christian. Children were ‘marketed’ to families hoping to adopt using words like ‘pretty’ and ‘easy.’ Children born to unwed mothers who were taken from their mothers with the lie that the baby had passed away and buried to save the birth mother anguish. Mothers who placed their children with Georgia Tann’s team as temporary care (due to illness, family circumstance, etc.) were horrified to learn than their children were ‘adopted away.’
Family Is Everything
What I took away is the beautiful and honest testament to family. Even decades after their adoption placements, even with wonderful lives with their forever families, many of the Tennessee Children’s Home Society survivors yearned to know their birth mothers and/or birth siblings.
“Through their words and actions, they show that nothing is more important than family – and, just like in the movies, they know the clock is ticking.” Ugh, it just gut-punches you, right?
Here are TCHS survivors in their 70s and 80s who want to know their siblings. Who want to know more about their birth parents (who likely have already passed). Time is of the essence for a reunion to share stories. To share leads on who to contact for more information within the depths of the Tennessee adoption records.
Not Just For Those Touched By Adoption
This book caught my eye because we were graced by adoption (and I use that word purposefully – it really is a GIFT!) and I want to know as many perspectives about the adoptee experience as possible (even though our adoption placement experience was nothing like the insane ones you’ll read in Before and After). The more I know, the more supportive I can be to our child’s experience and outlook.
What you’ll read here is history. The beginnings of laws to protect the innocent. The desire for couples to become parents at all costs.
Give this book a whirl even if you haven’t been blessed by adoption. It is fascinating and heart-warming at the same time. I loved this book!